Here I am, back at Day 0. It’s depressing to look back at all the times I’ve tried to commit to myself and all the times I’ve failed. I know others can relate to this, but how do we break the cycle?
I almost deleted my last posts, but changed my mind. I want to leave them there and remind myself that I’ve tried this before. I actually did quite well while I was on my business trip. I worked out quite a bit and tried my very best to eat healthily while I was on the road. I don’t know if I had any fat loss during that time, but I didn’t gain which is a win when you are travelling that much.
Then I came home, tired, broken down, stressed, and it all went out the door. I let “him” back in, for a very short time and then ended it for real. (It stuck, we haven’t spoken in months). I started dating again, went on several first dates and then I met a nice guy and we started dating. Shortly after we started throwing around the Boyfriend/Girlfriend titles, I hit an extremely stressful period at work, and gained 15 lbs in what feels like over night. The nice guy I was dating, who I really like, it seems has had a change of heart. It is so painful to think that something that started out so promising has fizzled into nothing. A few days ago, I told him he seemed distant. He responded (this is via text) that he needed time to process things. I haven’t heard from him since.
This was a wake up call.
I need to re-invest in myself. I need to break this cycle.
In just a few short months of focusing on only myself, I will be able to make changes that will last me a lifetime. Of course these changes will bring new challenges but the end goal is to get to that happy place again.
So the next 12 weeks are all about me. All Hazel, all the time. The Hazel Project will commence on May 29, 2016 and will conclude on August 21, 2016. The commitments are as follows:
- Daily blog posts documenting, daily eats, workouts, and thoughts.
- Daily weigh ins.
- Measurements every 4 weeks.
Throughout this time I will share with you my story of how I ended up 35, divorced, overweight and unhappy. Hopefully, throughout this time, I will also write myself a new story, where I am happy, fit, and ready to embark on the next relationship when I am ready.