Day 2/84 – Owner of a broken heart

It’s official. The boy called it off. I can’t say I didn’t see it coming but it hurts just the same. I was pretty upset for most of the day but I’m really trying to find the positives in it all.

  1. I did not deviate from my food plan. I stayed on course 100%. This tells me I’m focused and on the right track here.
  2. Even though I’m sad right now, I feel like this experience has lit a fire in me. I’m not really happy, in general. I have work to do on myself. If someone fell in love with me now, they wouldn’t be falling in love with the real me. I need to be closer to that person before I find the right guy. Bottom line: I need to invest in myself first.

The next couple of months are going to involve me falling in love with myself. I think until that happens I need to stay away from the boys.

Out of my misery, my BFF and I came up with a brilliant plan. We are both September babies so we are going to plan an epic vacay in September to celebrate. This gives me something great to look forward to as well as the motivation to workout and eat right. I made myself a deal that for every day I eat on plan, I will put $5 in the bikini fund. There’s a potential to have up to $600 for vacation clothes which is very exciting! It may sound cheesy but I think these little incentives are very motivating.

Weighed in this morning at 198.2 lbs…happy it is some water weight taking a hike!

Today’s workout was a 5km. It was very humid today so I decided to run on the treadmill. It was rough and I struggled really badly, but something really awesome happened. It’s like a switch flipped in my brain and all of a sudden I had two personalities. I had the weak-minded quitter who just wanted to stop and then I had drill sergeant Hazel who would not let weak Hazel stop running. I was literally screaming at myself in my head.

DO NOT STOP! KEEP GOING! DON’T BE A QUITTER! FIGHT FOR THIS! FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE! FIGHT FOR THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

I don’t know where this person came from but I hope she sticks around. She’s kind of awesome! And here are the sweaty results of that run:

20160531_212738

So I ran 5km in 33:49 and it was hard and I wanted to quit but I didn’t. Tomorrow is a new day. Looking forward to getting as far away from this day as possible. Deep breaths.

XOXO,

H

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